


Dumb Dumb

by 127ghouls



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Jongin is dumb, M/M, Sehun stalks Jongin, Sudden Boyfriends, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 21:01:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17210894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/127ghouls/pseuds/127ghouls
Summary: "Bite the vampire first to establish dominance."That's exactly what Jongin did. But why is the vampire still chasing him down?





	Dumb Dumb

**Author's Note:**

> Happy holidays, sekaists! I hope I'm not too late to give y'all a gift! I don't know if somebody had done this already since I'm not reading fanfics anymore but well ; ;
> 
> Anyway the vampire biting is a pretty popular idea going around on Twitter so djsjsk

The eerie howl of the wind makes Jongin wrap his arms around himself in a protective hug. The night is getting deeper, close to midnight and he's on the way home from gaming at some friend's house. It's freezing; his feet dipping into the thick  snow covering the road as he trudges against the harsh breeze.  
  
It's completely empty outside, except for a homeless old man curled up at the threshold of a store, trembling even beneath the several layers of clothes he wears. The coldness mercilessly bites through on a Tuesday night, reaching flesh and bones.  
  
Most of the houses are unlit. Only a few windows still glow in the darkness before a few of them finally blacken as people hit the sack.  
  
Jongin's eyes flittingly glance at the flickering lamp post and he speeds up, feeling the telltale sign of fear. He's aware of the rumors floating around about vampires and he's not about to die in the hands of one just before the year ends.  
  
Let him finish 2018 first, dammit.  
  
As the leaves of the trees rustle, an inaudible curse slips past Jongin's lips before he breaks into a run, desperate to reach his home.  
  
But before he can make a sharp turn to the left, a pallid arm shoots out from the alley on his right and drags him into the narrow space, pressing him roughly against the wall.  
  
"What the fuck!"  
  
His head throbs painfully, having hit the rough wall behind him. Jongin's vision adjusts in the dark but it spins and blurs, preventing him for seeing clearly. Fists clenching tight, he throws a punch to his assailant but he lets out a cry of pain instead. It feels like he punched a solid rock. The stranger staggers anyway, slightly losing balance but his grip on Jongin's shoulders prevail, preventing the latter from an escape.  
  
"Waitㅡ"  
  
Jongin shakes his hand and quickly scans the road. No one is around to give him a hand; he only has himself to survive. Quickly racking his brain for the self defense techniques he had learned during the summer, Jongin knees the stranger on  the stomach and snorts in victory as the other hunches over before slamming the stranger against the opposite wall.  
  
The flickering light of the lamp post hits the man's face and Jongin finally takes in the sight of his attacker.  
  
Gold eyes stare back at him. The man has sleek eyebrows and a tall nose. He has a small pair of lips that makes Jongin's throat dry despite the absurdity of the situation. He then notices the lack of resistance from the other and scoffs, pulling away as though he had been burnedㅡwhich is quite the opposite, by the way. The man feels so incredibly cold, like prickly ice under his touch.  
  
What kind ofㅡ  
  
"Vampire," Jongin mumbles in realization. His body prepares for the fight or flight before the manㅡthe vampire straightens up. Jongin gets into a fighting stanceㅡhe's not a black belter and he's not buff, but he knows that if he puts his mind to it, with the addition of adrenaline rush he can take this vampire down before those sharp fangs sink down his neck.  
  
The vampire's eyes soften as they meet Jongin's fierce ones again. "I didn't mean to scare youㅡ"  
  
"Oh, I know." Jongin interjects with a hiss. "You just mean to drink my blood and kill me!"  
  
"No!" The vampire looks frantic, eyeing the road. Jongin doesn't know why the other suddenly looks scared but he doesn't let his guard down. It might be an act to gain his trust. "I just wanted to ask if you could feed me even just a dropㅡwait, wait! Don't punch me again you'll only get hurtㅡum, I'm really hungry you know and I swear I only need one gulp! Then I'll go!"  
  
Jongin glares harder. This is ludicrous! A vampire is seriously bargaining with him? The simulation must be glitching. "What makes you think I'll let you bite down my neck, you pale sicko. You can't fool me!" He might look fearless on the outside but Jongin is about to piss his pants any minute now. _Holy shit_. This is the first time he actually encountered a vampire. He thought they'd look hideous but this one in front of him can easily pass off as an A-grade model for an underwear brand. Yep. He kinda check the vampire out.  
  
The vampire takes a forward step and taking it as an assault, Jongin hurls his whole body against the vampire with all his strength and pins the man against the wall before he leans in and buries his face on the other's neck, biting down with all his might.  
  
"Ouch that fucking hurts!"  
  
Ha! So a bite hurts like a bitch and a punch doesn't? Ironic. Jongin continues to assert his dominance over the vampire to let him know that he isn't an easy target. The skin doesn't break no matter how hard he bites. When he finally pulls away, he only takes a second-long glance at the other before he takes off, long legs sprinting out of the alley to hurry back home.  
  
Ridiculous. Stupid. Why did he do that? He saw that viral tweet about biting a vampire first to establish dominance and how dumb is he to actually think it would work?  
  
"Jongin!"  
  
Someone calls out his name and Jongin makes the wrong decision to look back because there, a few steps behind him is the vampire. How the hell did the freak know his name?  
  
"I read minds and please stop. I swear I won't kill you! I won't even drink your blood anymore."  
  
"What makes you think I'll believe you, huh?"  
  
"You popped a boner. You think I'm hot."  
  
Right. Fucking shitty hormones really doing him dirty in the most crucial times.  
  
Jongin slows down, turning around as he moves backward, still not trusting the other. "Okay fine. You have my attention."  
  
The vampire stops following. Jongin halts. Beneath the dull glow of another lamp post, the pair of gold eyes smolders. He tries to read the vampire's body language but then Jongin remembers he flunked Psychology last semester. Fuck this shit. Why the fuck is he so dumb.  
  
"I won't suck your blood anymore but I have one condition."  
  
Jongin's eyes roll. "Really?" He says offhandedly.  
  
The vampire nods, pocketing his hands in his yellow hoodie. "Mhm. Are you willing to listen to me?"  
  
"Look," Jongin flails, looking around. "No one is around. I gotta stay alive. If that condition lets me keep breathing then shoot, let me know."  
  
After Jongin talks, the vampire's behavior changes again. He looks unsure of himself now that Jongin's focus is on him.  
  
"I don't have a lot of tiㅡ"  
  
"BemyboyfriendandIwontkillyou."  
  
Jongin's shoulders sag, dumbfounded. "What?"  
  
"I said be my boㅡ"  
  
"I heard you the first time! What I mean is...what?! You want me to date you?"  
  
The vampire's head bows in embarrassment. _Oh My God_. All of this is actually happening. Jongin's got a silly vampire desperate for his affection. Is it possible that he's just dreaming?  
  
He pinches himself. He shrieks.  
  
The uninjured hand scratches harshly over his scalp as he tries to weigh his options. He's single. He's gay. The man is a freak but hot. Freakishly hot. How bad will it be if he agrees?  
  
_'You're going to dry out in here if you disagree, just a reminder!'_  
  
Jongin sighs, rubbing his swollen knuckles. "Fine."  
  
The vampire perks up, excitement swirling beneath the golden specks of his eyes. His smile is wideㅡand almost charming, if not for those sharp fangs peeking out that send an unexplainable thrill down Jongin's spine.  
  
"You agree?!"  
  
"Of course, of course! Just don't kill me. Or I'll haunt you when I turn into a ghost. Understand?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
Jongin groans and turns around to continue on his way with anothet set of footsteps falling in rhythm next to his.  
  
"Why are you still following me?"  
  
"Well as a good boyfriend, I have to walk you home."  
  
"You're stalking meㅡ"  
  
"No. I already know where you live."  
  
Jongin gasps, glowering in accusation. "So you _were_ stalking me!"  
  
"For a while now. Sorry, I really think you're hot." The vampire rubs the back of his neck. If only he had some blood left in his system, he'd surely be blushing already.  
  
Jongin pretends it's not cute. It's crazy and stupid and he just doesn't have a choice, alright?  
  
Silence stretches between them until Jongin reaches home. He stops before the front door, facing the vampire.  
  
"I believe you're going to follow me around from now on. Can we talk about this set-up tomorrow or something? I'm really tired."  
  
The vampire nods and turns to go, but before Jongin could enter the house, the same pale arm turns him around and not a second later, a pair of ice cold lips cover his own chapped ones.  
  
The sudden kiss doesn't last long. When Jongin blinks, there's no one but him. The vampire is goneㅡ _poof_ , just like that. He starts to doubt the reality of his encounter with the vampire. Maybe it's all just a dream. But the tingling of his lips says otherwise.  
  
Heat blankets him as soon as he enters. Desperate to nurse his aching hand and get some sleep, Jongin chucks his shoes off and trots away to his bedroom.   
  
Just as he's about to turn the light on, another hand covers his own causing Jongin to shrilly scream at the top of his lungs.   
  
"Jongin stop! It's me!"  
  
"You need to stop doing that! And how the fuck did you get in here?!"  
  
"I haven't introduced myself yet! I'm Sehun," The vampire wears the same wide smile that turns his eyes into crescents, corners Jongin in a split second and steals another kiss. "And that's what you're going to scream the next time we meet. See ya!"  
  
A misty cloud of air is what remains when the vampire vanishes. Jongin touches his lips with the tips of his fingers, inwardly cursing himself as the thought of it feeling quite good crosses his mind in a split second.  
  
He glances down and sees that the thought manifested inside his pants, bulging.  
  
"What kind of boyfriend leaves me with blue balls?!"  
  
He's going to make Sehun pay. Jongin can't wait for their next encounter. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> A comment would be nice ^^


End file.
